Here Without You
by CassieKnight
Summary: Kurt Wagner has found a home with the XMen and loves it. But what happens when the girl he's loved since he was a child returns to his life? And not everything goes as planned, of course. Kurt WagnerAmanda Sefton. Please R&R, but no flames :
1. Author's Note

Here Without You  
  
Author's Note: Lots of notes to put down first. Sorry. Big important one, I don't own anything to do with X-Men.. Sue me all you want, but it won't get you anywhere.I'm a poor college student.  
  
Please take note that my knowledge of the comic book version of X-Men is limited. In Kurt Wagner's case, I go completely by what I know from the movie, X2, and the Nightcrawler Prequel found in the movie comic book adaptation. Also realize that depending on what you base your knowledge on (the comic or the movie) makes the difference on just how Kurt came into the circle of X-Men mutants. Once again, I go by what I've read in the Nightcrawler Prequel, therefore he left the circus due to a stupid move he did during a performance and was captured while being under the influence of mind control.  
  
Please, no criticisms. I have given you fair warning of how I'm using Nightcrawler's past in my story and where I got it from. That, and his hair to me is black in the movie.although I know its supposed to be blue. But seriously.its black in the movie!! Lol.  
  
Two songs inspired this: "Heaven" sung by DJ Sammy, and "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. The lyrics of both can be found at the end of Chapter 5.  
  
I used some of the German language in this fic, so if you speak German or know more than I do (which is basically anything) please excuse my lame excuse for using the Google Language Tool to translate the stuff I wanted. I took French.haha, which doesn't mean much. Not to mention I have no idea what a Russian last name would be, so ignore that too.  
  
Also, I'm sure you'll realize this, but I haven't been to a circus in ages.so if anything I wrote seems a little impractical, just forget it. LOL.My imagination ran wild with that one.  
  
PS-(lol), I put all the German to English Translations I've used at the bottom of every chapter. I know that's annoying, but thought it would be helpful to you wonderful readers ( 


	2. Chapter 1

1.  
  
It was very quiet. The crescent moon that hung high in the cloudless night and the colorless images from the television set gave off the only form of light. A soft breeze rustled the new leaves on the trees and the peaceful scent of the early spring night fluttered through the slightly opened window. The only sign of life in the Xavier Mansion at four o'clock in the morning was a quiet and peaceful young man that lay on a couch, watching an old western movie.  
Kurt Wagner, a German-born mutant that was still fairly new to the United States, lay sideways on the green cushions of his seat, for once un- amused by the flick that he had seen only hundreds of times. Deep yellow eyes stared blankly at the TV screen as a long, demon-like blue tail slowly tapped a two-toed blue foot that was almost always lacking shoes and socks.  
The cool breeze that gracefully passed through the window hit young Wagner's face, his eyes closing and his nose taking in the fresh air. The first signs of spring always brought a feeling of peace and comfort to the mutant, especially when he sat alone in the middle of the night. Until recently, his time during the night was spent on a trailer's roof, a supportive tree branch, or the steeple of a local church. But Kurt had found a home in the Xavier Mansion, a place dedicated to teach and bring understanding to young mutant children with newly form mutant powers.  
"Up again?" a soft, feminine voice said from the doorway, interrupting Kurt's thoughts and causing him to jump a little.  
"Ja," Kurt replied in his native tongue. He sat up and offered the now free half of the couch to his visitor. He positioned his body to sit in a crouching position, which he developed, probably, from sitting on countless trapeze bars in his earlier years.  
Rogue, a girl of sixteen who had come to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters only a few months before Kurt, sat beside him. Her warm smile was always a tranquil aspect of her personality that Kurt found comfort in. He gave her a shy smile back and shifted his yellow gaze to the screen once again.  
"You couldn't sleep?" He asked as he watched a cowboy jumping from one horse to another taking out the bandits that just robbed a small town bank.  
Rogue nodded. Although the fellow mutant had a thick German accent, Rogue didn't find it difficult to understand him; unless, that is, you don't count certain words that begin with the letter "w" that he had a habit of pronouncing like it was a "v" instead.  
The two sat in silence for a few minutes each sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching the movie. Rogue's eyes shifted to the side of her head to notice a rather sad expression on Nightcrawler's face. She unconsciously wondered if the indigo skin and the semi-curly black hair was the reason he was given such a nickname as Nightcrawler. Although his demon-like appearance was set with the blue skin that bore angelic symbol tattoos that covered his face, and she figured the rest of his body, along with pointy ears like an elf's, and a tail related to the devil himself, Rogue had found a friend in Nightcrawler; he was the most sincere, kind, and devoted person she had ever met.  
"Do you always stay awake all night?" Rogue asked. She had gotten up several times in the past few months to find Kurt awake in some part of the house, usually where they were now, and he never looked tired.  
Kurt smiled, sharp white teeth showing. "I only need a few hours sleep. I like the night the best."  
There were a few more minutes of silence. The last time Rogue sat up with Kurt he talked to her like they were old friends. Now he barely spoke if she said something. "You feeling alright?"  
"Of course. Why the wonder?" he asked, his head finally turning to look at her. After saving her life during their first encounter, Rogue was one of the few who had easily gotten on well with him. The others didn't mind his presence, but he could tell that they still felt uncomfortable. He felt good, however, that most of them did show concern for his quietness.  
Rogue shook her head. "I don't know. You look like something's bothering you. Its not me, is it?"  
Kurt shook his head quickly and held up a three-fingered hand. "Nein. You're company is most welcome." He looked down at the floor and sighed. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I should be more than gracious and thank the Father for leading me to this place."  
Rogue knew now. She scooted over and put a hand on the soft shirt of his strong shoulder. "You're homesick."  
"I do miss the circus and my friends there. But I feel most at home here with you, Storm, and the others as well."  
"Don't worry. I felt terrible for a while when I first ran away from home. But I knew it was for the best. Everyone here is my family now. We're all the same here."  
Kurt looked at her heartfelt face. He knew that he could confide in her. They both had a great deal in common, although those attributes might seem different. With Kurt, normal people, even some mutants, were afraid of him because he didn't fit in. Unlike one mutant he knew with blue skin and yellow eyes, he couldn't change the way he looked. His gift was agility and teleportation, but that didn't help him with acceptance. Rogue, on the other hand, fit in like any normal teenager-even with the two locks of white hair that framed her face that stood out from the rest of her chestnut head. Rogue's gift, however, is the reason why she will never be able to make any physical contact with another, for if that did happen she would absorb their energy and abilities, practically pulling the life force out of that person's body.  
"There is one thing that I so desire," he said softly, wondering if she'd laugh at him when he told her. She looked at him, no words needing to be spoken to tell him to go on. "Even if I can never be with her.I just want to see her face. Just once more."  
Rogue was touched. There was someone in Kurt's life that she knew he loved. And from the way his voice sounded, she didn't feel the exact way. "Who?" Then she stopped herself. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry into you're private life."  
"Es ist okay," Kurt replied. "Her name is Amanda, the daughter of the woman who found me abandoned as a baby. I've loved her since before I understood what love was."  
"She doesn't feel the same, does she?" Rogue mentally kicked herself for being so forward. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt his feelings.  
But to her surprise, Kurt smiled. "No, she doesn't. We've always had a brother-sister relationship. The last time I saw her she had here eyes set on someone else.. Someone far more intriguing than I-especially in the looks."  
Rogue thought for a moment and then said, "I bet she realizes now that you were the best choice for her."  
Kurt looked back at the TV screen to see the end credits appearing slowly as the handsome cowboy rode off on his stead, carrying the beautiful girl into the sunset. "Ich kann nur wünschen."  
  
Time rolled on slowly. The seemingly dead plants had sprouted new life, animals wondered out of hiding from the harsh winter, and children took to the outdoors to play in the bright, warm afternoon sun.  
Down at the basketball courts in the back of the mansion Kurt sat on a nearby picnic table watching several young students dribbling the brown ball around and passing it from one teammate to the other making shots towards the basket and missing almost every time.  
"Is that the best you got?" a gruff voice said as its owner stood over a kid nearly thirty years or more younger.  
"Logan, no fair!" Rogue called out from the sidelines. "You're like three feet taller!"  
Logan, also known as Wolverine due to his hirsute facial features and the foot long metal claws that extracted from his hands at will, stopped and turned to the young girl he had met back in Canada-the reason why he was at the mansion in the first place.  
"They wanted me to play, so now they have to deal." His eyes caught a glimpse of his opponent dodging around his legs and running down the court. "Hey!"  
Kurt laughed from his spot after seeing the young kid making an incredible jump that was most inhuman like and dunking the ball through the hoop.  
Logan wiped the sweat from his brow and put his hands on his hips while his eyes looked over to Kurt. "You think you can do better, elf? There aren't any trapeze bars in this game."  
As if just noticing the blue mutant was perched on the tabletop, the kids gathered around Logan and beckoned Kurt to play with them. "C'mon Kurt! Don't let Logan beat us!" Bobby Drake, Rogue's own boyfriend, called out.  
Kurt shook his head and waved his hand. "I'd be more of a nuisance than a help to you're game," he admitted.  
Logan smiled and raised an eyebrow. "That's right. They don't play ball over in that German town you're from."  
"C'mon Kurt!"  
"We want you to play!"  
"Please!?"  
After a brief moment, Kurt got up, took his long coat off and set it down, and went out onto the court. "Whose team?"  
"Ours, of course," Bobby replied as he dribbled the ball. He passed it to a kid named Anthony who ran down the court, two opposing players following after him. Kurt stood near the center of the court and received the ball when it was passed to him. His two fingers and one thumb bounced the ball easily on the pavement. He turned towards the basket only to be face to face with Logan.  
"Alright, circus clown," he said in a pant. "Let's see where all that high wire abilities get you now. And no disappearing acts either."  
Kurt smiled, his teeth bared in an almost evil manner. "I don't need tricks to beat you, mein fraund." Kurt jumped to the left of Logan, who proved to be more of a match by following. Then Kurt jumped back and to the right, Logan's hand instinctively grabbing out for the ball. Kurt's smile never left his face; his tail appeared up behind his shoulder and caught Logan's attention. The arrowhead tip moved shortly from side to side, as if mocking the Wolverine.  
Logan let out a growl of frustration as Kurt pretended to pass the ball to no one, and then ultimately passing it to Bobby who came up from behind. "Brat!" Logan called out as he turned to go at Bobby.  
Young Drake made a shot, but it was obviously going to be a direct miss. Fortunately Kurt jumped up, caught the ball, and guided it into the net without even touching the rim.  
There was a cheer from fellow teammates as Kurt landed on the ground as if just performing an acrobatic stunt and landing in perfect formation. Rogue could be heard from the side giving a whistle of admiration.  
Logan looked at her as if shocked she wasn't on his side. "Whatever."  
  
There wasn't much of a game after Kurt entered. Logan had become disgusted with the fact that the newcomer could lead a team to victory after being nearly twenty points behind. The group of students, Logan, and Kurt walked back into the house tired, sweaty, and hungry.  
Storm, alias Ororo Monroe, came striding from down the hall, her white hair bouncing on her shoulders and her young face looking content. "Who won?" She asked, looking directly at Logan when she noticed that he was one of the few that didn't share in the delight of others.  
"Ask him," Logan said rocking his head towards Kurt. "Circus performer my ass. Olympic athlete more like it."  
"Good for you Kurt!" Storm said with a friendly smile. "And a little surprise for all of you."  
Everyone looked at the dark skinned woman who could control the weather as if she was Mother Nature herself. She gave a small giggle at their interested faces. Then her arms left their resting position behind her back and held up a rolled up poster of some sort.  
"What's that?" Logan asked his head twisting to crack his neck.  
Storm let the poster unroll. She noticed how everyone's face lit up with glee. She read the words on the poster as if they others couldn't: "Come one, come all, to see the traveling Munich Circus as it makes its last American Tour appearance. Friday April 5th through Saturday April 13th. Attractions include high wire trapeze artists, show performing horses and elephants, and stunts that will make you Oh and Ah for days to come."  
"Can we go?" said one of the ten year olds.  
"Does the Professor know?"  
"When are we going?"  
Everyone seemed excited and Storm had to raise a hand to gain back his or her attention. "Professor Xavier already agreed. We'll probably go to one of the last shows to avoid the larger crowds."  
During all of this, Kurt stood in silence. When everyone had continued their way down the hall to the kitchen or their rooms to clean up, he went back outside and found a spot under a shady tree.  
So many thoughts rushed through his mind. They're back, he thought to himself. Amanda.the circus.everyone. The last time before they go back to Germany.  
The snap of a branch caught his ears and his head shot up to see Rogue frozen in place, knowing she had disturbed his train of thought. "Sorry," she said.  
Kurt shook his head to tell her don't worry about it as she sat down next to him, hugging her knees to her chest and trying to catch his expression. "That's your circus, isn't it? Munich, Germany, right?"  
"Ja," he replied and closed his eyes.  
"Is.that girl you told me about before going to be there?" Rogue asked.  
Kurt didn't seem to pay attention to her question. He leaned his head back against the tree's trunk and looked at the white clouds floating through the sea of light blue sky. "It's been nearly six months, hasn't it? Since we've met, that is."  
"I think so," Rogue recalled.  
"That means its been at least two weeks longer since I did that stupid stunt in my last performance.and when I realized there was no winning her."  
"Why so sad, Kurt? You'll get to see her again like you wanted."  
He shook his head. "Because its as if God trying to give me a second chance, but I feel that any efforts would be futile."  
Rogue didn't know what to say. She searched her brain for any words that might comfort him. "I know what I say probably won't help, but I think you should just go. If this girl Amanda you've told me about cares for you at least like a brother, then she'll just be happy to see you alive and alright."  
Kurt looked at her and then smiled. "Thank you," he said gratefully.  
"For what?"  
"Understanding me."  
  
Translations:  
"Ja"-Yes  
"Nein"-No  
"Es ist okay"-It is okay  
"Ich kann nur wünschen"-I can only wish  
"Mein fraund"-my friend 


	3. Chapter 2

2.  
The night before the circus was due to open its tents to the public came rather quickly. Students and teachers alike at the Xavier school were excited and couldn't wait until the following week when they would experience a traveling circus-some of which never had been to one at all in their lives.  
The stimulation could be felt throughout the house, all except for Kurt Wagner that is.  
Kurt sat alone in his room on the second floor of the house. He sat on the edge of his twin-sized bed facing the window straight ahead of him; his right hand played with the top edge of the handmade quilt a girl named Kitty had made for him a few weeks after he arrived at the school.  
It was a full moon out that night, and Kurt's memory flashed back to a time when a kid who wanted to meet him backstage after one of his shows. He asked him if he'd change into something during a full moon. He knew the kid meant no harm, but his mother had been eyeing Nightcrawler like he was some sort of monster already.  
As turned his head to look at the many posters that hung over the headboard of the bed, a gentle knock came at the door. "Hereingekommen," he said bidding the knocker to come in.  
The door opened and Storm walked in with a concerned look on her face. "Hey. How are you?"  
"Fine," Kurt replied getting up to greet her.  
"We thought you might be sick or something," she said as she looked over his shoulder and saw the posters. She had seen a few before when she and her friend Jean Grey had gone to the old church in Boston and found Kurt hiding out there. Each poster had been a replica of those used when the circus traveled to different parts of the world. One said Paris, another Barcelona, and others range from different large cities all over Europe. Each one, though, had the same theme: The Incredible Nightcrawler!  
"No," Kurt said with a slight laugh in his voice. "Why would you think that?"  
"You didn't come down to dinner," Storm answered. "But I think I know what's bothering you now." Kurt didn't answer, but sat back down on his bed. "Is it because you're not mentioned on that poster I had shown to everyone?"  
Kurt chuckled. "No. I'm confused at what I should do. Part of me yearns to return to the circus and continue my life as a performer. The rest of me tries to counter the other half and tell it that I belong here with you and the others."  
Storm sat down next to him. "Would you go back?"  
Kurt looked at her, almost surprised. There was a hint of worry in Storm's voice, yet perhaps a bit of sincerity. "I.I don't know. The audiences always thought I was just in costume. Then when Margali, the woman who raised me, let some people meet the performers, people figured out that I wasn't normal; that I was a mutant."  
"It's a fact that all of us have to live with," Storm said. "But it's your decision. And if my opinion counts-"  
"-Which it does," Kurt interrupted and then caught himself and closed his mouth.  
"Do what you want to do that will make you happy."  
"I don't want to be selfish," he replied and instinctively held onto the rosary beads and pewter cross that hung from his worn leather vest's pocket.  
"God will understand," she paused for a moment and then stood up, putting a comforting hand on Kurt's shoulder and then finished by saying, "Nightcrawler."  
Kurt watched her leave and remained by himself in the silence of his room. His fingers rubbed the cross between themselves, but his eyes averted to the largest poster that hung directly over the center of his bed. "Germany's Munich Circus, featuring the Incredible Nightcrawler."  
  
Early the following morning, Kurt had wondered down the stairs and towards Professor Charles Xavier's office at the far end of the mansion. Before he even reached for the doorknob he heard the voice of a middle-aged man say, "Come in, Kurt."  
Kurt entered the room meekly. He had been in the room before, but he was always awed by the wood architecture he saw. Not only that, but the windows gave the room one of the best views of the world outside.  
Professor Xavier, a middle-aged, bald man with soft brown eyes turned in his wheelchair and used an open hand gesture to offer Kurt a seat. "Please, sit down."  
Kurt sat down, his tail moving to the side to rest on his lap. "I'm sorry if this is too early-"  
"Nonsense, Kurt," Xavier said. He folded his hands on his mahogany desk. "I knew you'd be coming at some point this morning to tell me that you're going back to the circus."  
Kurt stared at him in amazement. He was aware of the professor's telekinesis, but he didn't expect it to come out at that moment. "I'm not leaving for good, I don't think," Kurt told him.  
"You just want to see the people you grew up with," the professor said smiling. "I understand. And you shouldn't be afraid to ask me."  
Kurt furrowed his eyebrows for a brief moment and wondered what he meant until he realized he had been thinking of asking the professor something entirely different than leaving the mansion for a short while.  
"The best roses are right behind the house on the east side. Enjoy you're time." Xavier gave him a warm smile as he leaned back in his specially designed wheelchair.  
Kurt thanked him in both German and English before vanishing from sight, only leaving the dark blue smoke to float around for a moment after he teleported.  
  
Twenty-one year old Amanda Sefton sighed as she looked up from her book. The sounds of the people working on setting up the circus tent could be heard in the not-so-distant background. When it came to do such work, she was never much help; it was mostly the guys that did it anyway. No matter where the location, it was routine for Amanda to take the time to find a cozy spot under a tree and read.  
The day was bright and warm, and the smell of fresh flowers and grass accented the spring air. It was her favorite time of year. For some reason, the beautiful spring weather was always relaxing to her, especially when times were hard.  
The last chapter, Amanda thought to herself as she counted how many pages were left. This would be the fifth time she finished this particular book. In the last six months she had read the book after she finished a different one. And the reason was more than the fact that she enjoyed it; the book was the last gift she had received from a special friend before he left.  
A sudden noise broke Amanda's train of thought. The birds that were settled on the branches above her fluttered out in a mass number and a few leaves fell to the soft ground. Amanda could have sworn she had heard a familiar BAMF. "You're letting you're mind wonder again, Amanda," she told herself out loud. "He's not here."  
She had just found her spot on the page when something fell from above and landed on her outstretched legs. A gasp left her mouth as she picked up a full bloomed red rose. She twisted it in her fingers, noticing that all the thorns had been removed. Her head tilted back and looked up just as her ears picked up the same bamf sound she had thought she heard before only to find there was no one else around. Until, that is she looked back straight ahead of where she sat.  
"Guten Morgen," Kurt Wagner said as he stood several feet in front of her.  
Amanda's breathing quickened as she stared at the blue man before her, his tail swished every so often from one side to the other. Her eyes looked him over from head to toes and back up again, finally meeting his soft yellow eyes.  
"Did you miss me?" He asked in a joking manner. Kurt could feel the knots in his stomach tighten as his fingers fumbled together behind his back. He felt that he had turned Amanda into stone with his sudden appearance.  
Then, after the long moment of staring at him, Amanda let a large breath out as her lips curled into a smile. She got to her feet, the book tumbling to the ground forgotten, as she held the rose with both hands. "Is it.is it really you?" As she came to stand only a few inches in front of him, her bright green eyes looked at his face like he was a resurrected ghost.  
"Ja," he said. "Traurig schrieb ich nicht." He smiled, his white teeth almost making his dark skin look darker.  
She let out a hushed laugh and then put her hands on her hips, her face becoming stern and the glint in her eye going out. "Was geschah?? Where have you been!? We were worried sick!" She lectured, half in German half in English." She raised her hand and slapped him in the shoulder.  
Kurt's eyes became wide and he took a step back. "I-I'm sorry, Amanda. It's a long story."  
"Screw the story!" She practically yelled. Then Kurt noticed a tear streaming down her cheek and her angry face became soft and sad. She flung her arms around him and buried her angelic face into his vest and coat covered chest. "I'm so happy you're home. I've missed you so much," she sobbed lightly.  
Kurt hesitated for a moment, but finally let his hands come to rest on her back and pull her into a tight hug. "Und ich habe Sie vermißt," he replied. "I've missed you more than you could imagine."  
Amanda pulled away, tears still falling gently from her eyes and moistening her fair skinned face. Kurt raised a hand, brushing back a lock of her light red hair behind her ear and then catching a falling tear. "Don't cry, Amanda. I'm here now."  
She nodded and attempted to dry her eyes with her hands. "Have you gone to see Mom yet?"  
"Nein," He replied. "I came to see you first."  
She laughed and pulled away from his hold; she went back to the tree to pick up her book. "She'll be so happy to know you're not dead," Amanda said with a smile. "She didn't wait even a day before thinking up the worst."  
  
"Hank, I think that rope needs to be tightened more!" Margali, a woman in her early forties that dressed as if she was still twenty and living like a gypsy, looked over her clipboard. She crossed off the words that said, "Set up main tent" and sighed as she looked at the lengthened list.  
"This tight enough, Margali?" A man called from the other side of the tent.  
"Fine," she replied, not looking up.  
"Mom!" Amanda called from the tent's entrance.  
Margali held her index finger up from a folded fist; Hank had come over to see what needed to be done next. "Probably bring the crates in next," she told him. He nodded and left.  
"Mom! I've got to show you something," Amanda said.  
Margali held her clipboard to her chest and looked at her daughter's rather anxious face. "What's going on." then she raised an eyebrow. "Did you guys order more flowers for the side show?"  
"No, of course not," Amanda laughed. She led her mother out of the tent and to the trailers parked in back.  
"Amanda, I don't have time-" Margali said; until, that is, she saw Kurt Wagner standing outside her trailer door. The clipboard landed facedown on a bare patch of ground; Margali's two hands went up to her mouth in complete shock. "It can't be."  
"Hallo, Margali," Kurt said giving a slight wave.  
Margali slowly made her way to the boy she found as a baby, abandoned and cold almost twenty years ago in Munich, Germany. Her right hand reached out to touch Kurt's tattooed cheek, skin that was just as soft as it had been when he was a baby. After discovering he was real, Margali pulled him into a tight hug, her hands holding his head to lie on her shoulder.  
"Mother, you're going to suffocate him," Amanda said crossing her arms over her chest.  
Margali pulled away, tears streaming down her face. "What's happened to you? Why didn't you come back that day?"  
"It's a long story," Kurt said. "So much has happened."  
  
After an hour the three reunited people sat in Margali's trailer, each holding a mug of coffee, or in Kurt's case warm milk. Kurt explained everything to them: from the reason why he went to the church after he made a stupid decision during a performance, to William Stryker's plan to kill the President of the United States, to finding a new home at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. There was silence for a few moments when he finished, neither woman knowing what to say.  
Finally, Amanda looking down at her mug closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "You thought I had come after you, but it wasn't me." She looked up and let out a laugh as tears welded up in her eyes. "When in reality I was right here, in this very trailer, with Werner."  
Kurt didn't answer. His eyes were fixed at his now empty mug; his stomach still twisting and turning like it had been for several hours now.  
  
"Kurt.did this man, Stryker," Margali started but then paused, as if she was afraid to ask her question. "Did he beat you?"  
Kurt hadn't mentioned the treatment he actually received while being held captive in the underground base at Alkali Lake. "Yes," he replied softly. "One man didn't like me because he found me praying. He said I wasn't allowed to pray to his god because I was unworthy."  
"Unworthy of what?" Amanda almost shouted. "Because you're blue? Because you have a tail? Because you're a mutant!?"  
"Calm down, baby," Margali said putting her hand on Amanda's arm. "We all know that some people just don't see mutants." She stopped herself. Margali knew that she couldn't continue what she was going to say. She herself had seen Kurt differently, even though she loved him as her own son. Amanda had made it quite clear when Kurt first left that she was the one who put him in a devil's costume and gave him the roll of a devil when he was old enough to perform. She realized, especially now after hearing about how Kurt was used in a plot to assassinate the president, the circus had never done so well when Kurt was the Incredible Nightcrawler; people came from miles away to see this famous acrobatic performer.  
Amanda tried very hard to keep the tears from rolling down her face again. "People just don't understand.. If something's not perfect, then its no good." Without warning Amanda jumped from her seat and left the trailer, the door hanging open in the spring breeze.  
Kurt looked after her and started to get up himself, when Margali grabbed his arm. "Kurt, I'm sorry."  
"For what?"  
"For treating you like a mutant in the past."  
Kurt smiled and put his own hand atop of Margali's. Neither spoke another word as Kurt proceeded to follow Amanda.  
Kurt found Amanda in the tent sitting at the very top of the stands by herself. With a BAMF he appeared next to her, but his sudden appearance didn't startle her. She looked at him and then back down to the center of the tent, her eyes were wet, but they didn't shed tears.  
"What's wrong?" He asked softly; his head tilted to the side looking concerned.  
Amanda shook her head, her red hair coming to rest on her shoulders now. "I've been such a fool."  
Kurt smiled, laughed a bit, and then shook his head. "You're not a fool. You're human. Everyone makes mistakes."  
"But I didn't give you a chance, Kurt," she said looking at him now. "I was blinded by my vision of the perfect guy." Kurt didn't answer. "When I was in school I remember being so jealous of these girls with their gorgeous boyfriends that bought them whatever they wanted. I never had that because we were gone so much with the circus. I had my crushes and a date here and there, but I wanted a guy that everyone would be jealous of.  
"I figured out a few years ago that you had a crush on me because you were always trying to show off, but I didn't care. Especially when Werner came to work for us. I was thrilled, Kurt. I flirted with him until he finally asked me out. I was so happy.at least I thought I was."  
Kurt still sat beside her, hands folded in his lap, his tail hanging over the edge of the bleacher in back.  
"Kurt, when Mom came and told me you were nowhere to be found I was concerned, but I figured you'd be back. When we couldn't wait for you any longer and had to leave without you, I was heartbroken. I didn't understand entirely, at first. I thought it was because we had grown up together, or because you were always there for me no matter what. But then I discovered." She paused and looked away from him, as if what she was about to say was very painful.  
".I discovered that you meant the world to me."  
Kurt's eyes grew wide and his heart skipped at least two beats. He had no idea she'd say that. He had always thought Amanda sharing even a fraction of the same feelings she felt for him was impossible.  
Amanda continued, smiling through newly released tears. "I guess the argument I had with my mother the week you left opened my eyes. She told me that I was throwing away a precious love and I didn't understand. She told me I could be with you instead of someone so stupid and pathetic as Werner. I didn't listen. I told her you were just a friend, or a brother. You're blue.you have a tail.you're eyes are yellow.you're a mutant. What would people think?  
"When we arrived in Calgary I spent a lot of time with Werner. He had asked me what was wrong because I hadn't spoken much. I told him about how I was worried about you.but I could see it in his eyes that he wasn't listening. Then his cell phone rang and he answered it like I wasn't there. He didn't even tell the other person that he was busy. He just got up and left."  
Amanda became silent. She hugged her knees and looked as far away from Kurt as she could. She couldn't bear to face him. But Kurt reached over and gently guided her head to look at him with his hand.  
"I'm sorry, Kurt." she said softly, but he hushed her. His hands tucked her hair behind her ears and he looked at her contently. "Kurt."  
"Hey you two!" a man called from the ground. "Welcome back, Kurt! You guys want lunch?"  
The two smiled and Kurt teleported the both of them down to the ground. Chester, a good friend of the family, gave a hard welcoming slap on Kurt's shoulder. "Where've ya been? We've missed ya," he said, smiling through his beard. "Haven't had the crowd we used to," he continued but received a nasty look from Amanda. "But.we're managing."  
Kurt looked at Amanda who only shrugged. He knew that he being the main attraction was what kept the audience coming.  
"Guess it all turned out alright, though," Chester stated. "We were supposed to be back in Germany three months ago, but Margali decided to stick it out a little longer in the states to get some extra dough."  
"Chester, don't you have to be somewhere?" Amanda said trying to be nice, although her expression would say otherwise.  
"Ya know, you're right. I'll catch up with ya's later." He turned and went the opposite direction, leaving Kurt to his thoughts about what Chester had said.  
"It's been bad since I left?" he asked.  
"What? Oh, no," Amanda lied. Then she nodded her head slowly. "There's really nothing we have that the bigger circuses don't."  
"Put my name back on the posters," Kurt said. "I'm here now."  
"No, Kurt. You shouldn't have to do anything," she told him. "Let Mom worry about that. Its not that bad."  
  
The day went by all to quickly in Kurt's opinion. After years of dreaming, his fantasies started to become reality. He and Amanda had spent the entire day together, either helping with the set up for that night's show, eating a picnic lunch away from the camp, and just sitting around talking and laughing with the each other.  
By sunset Margali had reminded them that the show was in less than an hour and Amanda had to be ready to go on for the second act.  
"You going to watch? Its not a bad set up, really," she said as they walked to her trailer.  
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world," Kurt said with a smile. He held her hand and opened the trailer's door for her. "Good luck."  
"I'll see you later," she said as she went inside.  
"Kurt, come on," Margali called from her own trailer.  
  
Translations: (Note, the translator I used kept changing its mind, so all of these are not entirely accurate).  
"Hereingekommen"-Come in  
"Guten morgen"-Good morning  
"Traurig schrieb ich nicht"-Sorry I didn't write  
"Was geschah?"-What happened?  
"Und ich habe Sie vermißt"-And I missed you  
"Hallo."-Hello 


	4. Chapter 3

3.  
The show had started as usual; Woodhead, the ringleader, came up with his usual routine of introduction and the tightrope walkers barely wobbled above his head. Amanda stood by the back entrance with her fellow performers waiting for their cue to go on. They hadn't changed the show that drastically since Kurt left, however the new lead acrobat couldn't present half the number of agile stunts Nightcrawler could have done.  
"Alright," Chester said to the group as he stepped aside. "You're on."  
Amanda led the group to the pulpit that was set up in the center of the ring. Atop it were the Holy Bible and a foot tall cross. The actors each wore a white hooded robe and carried a white rose in their hands. Amanda kneeled before the pulpit as if to pray and the other five actors made a semi-circle around her.  
Looking up at the cross, Amanda held up her hands and said, "Oh Holy one that reigns in the Heavens above." The actors behind her made a low hum in their throats. "Show us mercy!" she cried. "Send your servants a sign that will lift our sins!"  
Suddenly the lights dimmed down to darkness; a bang of a gong rang in the distance and one spotlight shinned on a figure standing at the top of one of the polls' platforms holding a trapeze bar. Gasps from the audience came from all around and the lights brightened the inside of the tent once more.  
On cue, one of the actors pointed to the "demon" on the platform. "We have been deceived!"  
"The devil comes for us!"  
Amanda looked up, acting if she was in shock. Then her eyes widened when she saw just who stood above them. "Kurt?" she said under her breath.  
The demon figure stood proudly above them and held out his free hand. "Pray for peace, peasants! For the devil has come for you tonight!" With that, Kurt threw the trapeze bar forward and somersaulted into the air; his tail wrapped around the flying bar and he hoisted himself up so he'd hang by his hands. Two bars now swung back and forth giving Nightcrawler the ability to fling him from one to the other, showing off an array of mid-air flips and swings.  
Then, in a sudden leap, the Incredible Nightcrawler landed next to Amanda as the other actors fled the scene. "Your God has deserted you, beautiful girl," he said loud enough for the audience to hear. "Now you belong to me!"  
Amanda knew the cue; when Kurt stepped towards her and wrapped an arm around her in capture, she hugged him tightly so she wouldn't fall, but she knew he wouldn't make the same mistake he did the last time.  
"Forever you will serve me!" Kurt cried into the air as a trapeze bar was lowered for the two to be carried above. Kurt sat on the bar while Amanda sat on his lap; the bar was raised to the height of the platform letting the two stand high where the entire audience had their heads bent back to see them.  
"You there!" came the cry of someone else on the platform across from where Kurt and Amanda stood. "You shall release her! She is a child of the Lord, not a servant to the devil!"  
Nightcrawler let out a shrilled laugh as he jumped onto the now swinging bar. "You want her?" He said as he positioned himself to hang by his knees. "Then go get her!"  
The part Amanda hated the most had come. She was relieved to see that the crew below had gotten the net rolled out.just in case something should happened like it did last time Kurt played the part. She let out a scream then held her breath as she let Nightcrawler grab her hands and pull her from her feet. The angel on the other side had now been swinging in range of the two; Kurt had let his own bar go back once more to give Amanda enough momentum to catch the angel's hands.  
"Oh God." Amanda gasped as she felt the blue hands release her and she became air born for only a brief moment. Much to the relief of everyone below and above, the angel caught her hands and she was safe.  
The spotlights shined only on them now as Nightcrawler disappeared from the audience's sight. The trapeze was lowered low enough for Amanda to drop into the net, the lights only on her. The entire tent was dark around her as she climbed down letting her feet touch the hard ground surface. Another spotlight came to shine on another angel actor that had been waiting.  
"Thank-you Lord," Amanda said going down to her knees.  
"Thou shall be rid of such evil. Thy Lord is with you," he said as the lights dimmed to nothing.  
The room was silent for a few moments, and once they were sure the skit was over screams, whistles, and clapping filled the area. The lights came back on to show the two angels, the five monks, Amanda, and Nightcrawler standing together holding hands. They took their repeated bows as the cheers continued on.  
The rest of the night was extremely entertaining after such a perfect performance. The crowd adored the prancing ponies, the exciting elephant and her trainer, and finally a closing performance by the Incredible Nightcrawler.  
When all was said and done, the circus crew went around the stands to clean up. Margali had congratulated Amanda with a hug when they found each other. "That was perfect!" She told her daughter.  
"It was all Kurt!" Amanda said as she took off without another word. She ran around to the back to find Kurt sitting on a picnic table still dressed in his glittering yellow jumpsuit.  
Kurt had just gotten to his feet when Amanda flung her arms around him. "That was so awesome!" She told him. "Alex was never that good while you were gone."  
"I was afraid I was going to drop you like last time," he told her truthfully.  
"I wasn't," she said softly. "I trust you with my life, Nightcrawler."  
Kurt stared into her eyes. He felt as if he could melt as she smiled, her cheeks full of blush and her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. She put the palm of her hand on the side of his face and let her thumb brush over the tip of his ear.  
"Amanda." he barely whispered. But her index finger silenced him when it touched his lips.  
Kurt could feel his heart beating rapidly as Amanda leaned up to let her face go closer to his own. He had never been this close to her, except in his dreams. But all thoughts and dreams were forgotten as he felt her soft mouth rest against his.  
  
The week seemed to go by rather quickly, in Kurt's opinion; but it had been the best week of his life. Never had he felt so right with his existence, like he really did belong and was loved. Granted, Amanda hadn't told him that simple phrase, but he knew she felt something for him. By the time the end of the week rolled around, they had begun to hold hands wherever they went.  
If Margali was surprised she didn't show it. Perhaps it was because she knew Amanda and Kurt belonged together, or maybe even the fact that she had raised both of them so she knew she could trust her daughter and her foster child.  
The rest of the circus, however, had taken an immediate notice to the two's romantic sightings. Woodhead would whistle whenever he caught the two within a range of a couple of inches, and Chester was constantly making remarks like "They've gotten so big!" or "Kurt and Amanda sitting in a tree.."  
None of that, however, bothered either Amanda or Kurt. They spent their time together in public (the circus public, that is) or alone which was usually sitting around playing some board game, or Amanda reading while lying against Kurt. Either way, the two were happy.  
Saturday, April 13th had arrived. It would the last time the Munich Circus would perform in the North America. But this day had also brought a lot more than just a last performance; it also came with a decision, a decision that Kurt didn't want to make.  
Nightcrawler sat in his trailer, already dressed in his devil's costume for his first appearance. He looked up to the small closet door, his eyes gliding over the suit he was going to wear for his solo. He was aware that his friends from Xavier's school were coming that night, but that wasn't the reason his heart ached as his thoughts, memories, and dreams played constantly in his brain.  
A soft knock on the door made his tail twitch and he got up to open it. He smiled when Amanda stood in front of him wearing her white monk's robe. "Hey there," she said as he let her inside.  
Kurt sat back down on the small chair he had sat on for the past half hour while he thought. Amanda sat on the little stool in front of him and tried to get a glimpse of his expression. "You alright?" She asked softly and concerned.  
Kurt's eyes gazed at her features from the shoulder-length red hair, to the smoothness of her fair skin, to her rosy cheeks, to her bright green eyes. But then he glanced down as he felt her hands take one of his own.  
"Whatever it is, it's okay," she said. "If you're worried about messing up in front of your friends, then don't. They probably wouldn't know the difference anyway. You're good at covering it up."  
Kurt didn't say a word in response. He didn't even smile at first. But it was then he realized that he shouldn't have to be making a decision. If he truly loved her, then he'd go back to Germany to be with her. The X- Men would understand.  
"Kurt?"  
"I'm alright," he replied. "I am now. Thank-you, Amanda."  
"Ten minutes, you two!" Chester called as he banged a couple of times on the side of the trailer. "Now's not the time to be making out!"  
If Kurt's skin weren't such a dark blue, Amanda would have noticed he was blushing up a storm by now. They both left their seats and headed for the tent, hand in hand. Once they were at the entrance Amanda leaned up and gave him a kiss. "Good luck," she said as she hurried to gather with the other five actors.  
The skit didn't seem to last nearly as long as it had for the past week. Once again it was a perfect show that received a humungous cheer from the sold out crowd, plus a standing ovation from none other than the students and teachers of The School for Gifted Youngsters.  
As Kurt was changing into the sparkling white pants and red jacket, he kept telling himself that he'd do fine. For some reason he feared that he'd mess up in front of the entire school after they had all heard what an incredible acrobat he was.  
"Kurt! Let's go!" Chester called half way between the tent and the trailer.  
"God, give me strength," he said as started for the ring.  
Kurt walked out into the center of the ring, waving to the crowd and noticing the stand-up cheers from the students he had gotten to know over the past six months. For some reason the audience seemed to be larger than it was fifteen minutes ago. Thankfully, though, the lights blacked them out moments later and the show was about to begin.  
Torches that had been placed in a circle around the ring ignited by an electric starter and a heavy instrumental music began with the rolling of bass drums. Ribbon dancers appeared from the darkness and drew the audience's attention with the twirling of their ribbons and batons as Kurt was raised into the hair by holding onto a rope.  
Once Nightcrawler was standing on the high platform on the side of the ring, the two trapeze bars began swinging back and forth. Kurt took a deep breath as he lunged out, grabbing the white bar with his two hands and swinging absentmindedly, as if he didn't know what to do. But that was all part of the act.  
The torches gave a large burst of flame and the dancers skipped off to let the awe-struck eyes of the spectators gaze upon the demon-like man somersaulting and twirling his body back and forth. Nightcrawler barely used the same technique twice in his act. Just as it almost seemed the act was getting old, two high bars, about ten and twenty feet from the ground, were pushed into the center of the ring.  
Nightcrawler landed smoothly on one of the platforms, a crewmember holding out a bottle of water for him to take a quick gulp as another member caught the bar. During the very brief rest Nightcrawler was taking, two men dressed and painted completely in either red or white came galloping from opposing sides of the tent. In unison both men held out what seemed to be a stick and in the blink of an eye they magically breathed fire from their mouths. With the sticks burning on the ends, they switched sides from where they were standing and each pulled out one more unlit stick. Finally they used the flaming end of one to light the other and soon both were swishing burning sticks.  
After a brief showing of their fire handling, both men knelt down to one knee and lit the two support polls of the high bars. The fire engulfed half of each poll and the fire handlers retreated to the back of the tent.  
Above, Nightcrawler held the trapeze in his hands and jumped from the platform. Without even allowing the trapeze reach the center of the tent, Nightcrawler released it, tumbling in a ball down to the flaming high bars below.  
Numerous gasps could be heard from under him, and if Kurt were able to pick individuals out he would've seen Storm and Rogue covering their mouths with their hands and holding their breath.  
But those breaths were exhaled when the Incredible Nightcrawler's tail caught the higher of the two bars, spinning him around to fling to the lower. Zooming back and forth, Nightcrawler dove, soared, spun, and catapulted, the flames not coming in contact with his sparkling body suit in the least.  
And then it was over. With one giant triple axle twirl into the air, he landed perfectly on his two feet, tail stiff, and head held high as his hands were extended to reach towards the heavens, finishing off a spectacular act.  
It took a while for the audience to finish its cheering as the entire circus crew came out into the ring and offered their bows. Amanda had taken Nightcrawler's hand in her own and squeezed as she gave him a gleaming smile.  
After the crowd died down, Professor Xavier, the X-Men and the students gathered outside the tent to meet up with Kurt.  
"An excellent performance, Kurt," the professor acknowledged. "Very impressive indeed."  
"You have an amazing talent, that's for sure," Storm added.  
Logan was idly looking around, not paying much attention. Until, that is, Scott jabbed him in the side with his elbow. "What?" He said looking at Scott, who just continued looking towards Kurt. "Oh, yeah. Nice job, kid."  
"Thank-you," Kurt said. He noticed that the students were still taking in the circus environment while everyone else talked.  
The X-Men's attention was taken away, however, when Amanda casually walked over. She smiled shyly to them, giving a nod and then introducing herself. "I'm Amanda. I've heard all about you guys."  
"Like what?" Logan piped in, receiving another jab from Scott's elbow. "Stop that!" He snarled.  
"Now that this week's shows are over, where does the circus take you next, Amanda?" Xavier asked.  
Amanda latched onto Kurt's arm. "We're going back to Germany in a few days. I'm taking a guess we'll stay there for a month and then head to Russia and China."  
Rogue's large smile decreased a little as she looked at Kurt. "You going too?"  
Everyone stared at him. It was almost as if someone punched him square in the nose. He had every intention to stay with Amanda; but now it seems by the looks on their faces, his new friends would miss him greatly.  
"I." Kurt started and then felt Amanda's arm on him. "I would like to see my homeland again."  
"And spend time with you're girl, right?" Logan asked. He quickly caught Scott's elbow and shoved him away. "Not this time, buddy."  
"Ja," Kurt replied looking at Amanda, who gleamed back at him. "But I'll come back to visit," he put in to reassure the look on Rogue and Storm's face.  
"You better," Storm said with a wink. "Otherwise Germany will be seeing some pretty harsh winds."  
  
Margali had generously ordered pizza after inviting Professor Xavier and his students and teachers to stay. The circus members and the students mingled wonderfully, as did the X-Men. Chester and Woodhead had a great time embarrassing Kurt by telling the students stories of his childhood.  
Amanda and Rogue sat next to each other, both laughing as Kurt tried to defend himself for the time he had tangled himself in the ropes that were hanging at the very center top of the circus tent and they had to bring a snorkel truck in to get him down.  
"We wouldn't let him forget that for weeks," Amanda said as she took a sip of her soda.  
Rogue held her head in her hand. "You guys grew up together then, huh?"  
Amanda nodded. "I was a little over a year old when my mom found him. She told us that he couldn't have been anymore than a few days old."  
"So that makes you twenty-one and him twenty, right?"  
"Ja."  
Rogue gave a thoughtful look. "I know he thinks the world of you."  
"Kurt's the best guy in the world," Amanda told Rogue. "I was so stupid before. You can't find a more loyal guy than him."  
"I know. And he's one of the few mutants I know of that was able to accept who he was."  
Amanda chuckled. "Yeah, well it wasn't easy at first. He was always asking why he was the only one who looked like him. But he got it eventually." So far during this conversation Amanda hadn't taken her eyes off of Nightcrawler.  
"You love him, don't you?" Rogue asked more softly.  
Amanda blinked and looked at her then back at Kurt. "Yes. I love him more than anything. I just haven't told him yet."  
"You should."  
The two girls' conversation was put to an end due to Chester's abrupt movement of jumping to his feet and knocking over his glass as he made fun of Woodhead, Margali and Kurt. "Fluch Sie es zur Hölle," he shouted in German as he knocked over yet another glass while reaching for the first spilt one.  
"And you make fun of us," Margali said as she caught her breath from laughing. "Serves you right!"  
Everyone laughed and enjoyed the show Chester had been putting on while he cleaned up the mess in a rather frustrated way. "Leave it to me," he said referring to his own harassments backfiring on him.  
"Well," Professor Xavier said. "It's been a wonderful night. But we really should be going."  
A wave of disappointed moans washed over the group of students and even the circus members. They were having such a great time. Good-byes were said amoungst everyone, but Kurt felt funny about saying goodbye to the people that had made him feel so welcome in life.  
"Bye Kurt!" The students yelled.  
"Come see us before you leave, alright?" Rogue said as she gave him a.  
"I will," Kurt promised as Storm gave him a hug as well.  
  
Amanda and Kurt were able to escape the massive cleanup duty from the dinner. They went to sit under a tree a few yards from the trailers. Some of the crew had set up a campfire further towards the front of the tent, so they were able to sneak away easier. Kurt used the tree for back support as he held Amanda in his arms, the back of her head lying on his chest.  
"Its such a clear night," she said softly. "Look, you can see all the constellations tonight."  
"Ja," Kurt replied. He found her hand and held it affectionately.  
Amanda looked down and smiled. She was about to finally tell him that she loved him when he gasped and pointed to the sky.  
"Amanda," he said pointing. "A shooting star. Make a wish."  
"Hmmm," she thought out loud. "I wish for the perfect guy-one who's caring, loveable, fun, smart, playful, strong, and definitely cute in his own way."  
There was a brief moment of silence. Then she looked up at him. "Oh!"  
"What?"  
"I got my wish," she said almost in a whisper. She moved to sit on her knees between his bent legs. She put her hand to his face and held his cheek with her palm. "I love you Kurt Wagner."  
Kurt was silent. He stared at her for the longest time even before blinking. Then his hand made its way up to cover her's against his face. "Do you.mean it?"  
Amanda laughed. "Of course I do, silly," she said pulling her hand a way and giving him a playful shove. "I just wish it didn't take me years to realize it."  
Kurt moved to sit on his knees as well and face her. "I've always been afraid to tell you how much I dedicate every day to loving you." Amanda's face softened as she felt her heart beginning to melt. "To me, you're like an angel sent straight from the Lord himself. You've been the goddess I've dreamt of worshiping for an entire lifetime."  
"Kurt.you're going to make me cry," she said half sarcastically, half lovingly.  
"Should I stop?"  
Amanda leaned in and let her nose touch his. "No.please don't."  
But Kurt didn't have a chance to continue with his words, although his mouth was put to use when Amanda leaned in to kiss him. It was the most passionate kiss Kurt had ever experienced. Amanda crawled into his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck as he hugged her tightly. They both felt as if they were floating on a cloud somewhere in space, where no one could ever find them.  
"Kurt.we shouldn't do this here," she said after a few minutes of sweet kisses from her blue mutant.  
Kurt pulled away, seeming to feel very ashamed.  
"Chester and Woodhead would have a field day if they caught us.." She got to her feet and looked down at Kurt's almost disappointed and shameful face. "You coming?"  
Kurt nodded as he got to his feet. Amanda took his hand in hers and the two walked to her trailer. She opened the door, then turned around to face the yellow-eyed German behind her. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing," Kurt said. He stepped up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep well, beautiful angel."  
Amanda's face grew a little red as she stared at him. "Stay the night with me?" she said, almost half demanding, yet in a very sincere way.  
"Stay? All night?"  
"You afraid?" With that she went inside and started to change.  
"No.." He said after he figured out what she was implying. He walked in to see her back to the door, just finishing pulling an oversized t-shirt over herself to match her pajama pants. He felt almost stupid standing there in the corner, not sure what to do.  
"What's wrong?" When he shook his head she just patted the bed for him to sit down as she hoped on and folded her legs. "You're so cute when you're nervous."  
"Who said I'm nervous?" He asked as he took a seat next to her. "What would you're mother think if she found me here?"  
"I really don't think she'd care, to be honest," Amanda replied. "I think she trusts us-especially you of all people. She knows you wouldn't do anything dumb."  
"Me? Of course not! Perish the thought." He laughed.  
Amanda smiled as she leaned over and kissed him lightly. "Damn I love you," she replied.  
"I worship you," he replied as he closed his eyes to kiss her back. Before continuing he took off his red performance jacket and tossed it to a stool, leaving him in a white, form-fitting, sleeveless shirt.  
After a while they fell back on the bed to lay side by side, both fast asleep.  
  
Neither of the two sleeping lovers heard the creak of the trailer door open, nor did they notice the flashlights beaming around the small area. It wasn't until one of the three men dressed completely in black turned and knocked over a picture frame that sat on a shelf.  
Kurt's pointy ears twitched and he moved in his now lighter sleep.  
The other two men looked at him and he held up his hands in apology. Then the man standing closest to Kurt and Amanda tossed his head towards them. The one who knocked over the frame reached into a cargo pants pocket and pulled out a thick silver collar. The middleman took off a four-foot chain that he had draped over his shoulder. The three nodded to each other.  
Kurt heard the clanging of chains, causing his eyes to open slowly. The sleep he had been in was immediately forgotten as he jumped up, the three men grabbing him and pulling him forward.  
Amanda was quickly woken by the commotion and she let out a shrilled scream. Quickly she jumped off her bed and went to the farthest part of her trailer, completely scared out of her mind. "Kurt!" she cried.  
Amanda's yells had broken Kurt's concentration to teleport to her and then get the two of them out of the trailer. He felt cold metal harnessing his neck and chains being tied around his arms. Nightcrawler struggled, his legs kicking and his tail swinging; but hands had grabbed his tail and pulled it harshly, causing Kurt to yell out.  
Amanda screamed yet again when one of the men in black punched Kurt in the stomach and brought a knee up to meet his bent over head. She knew by the slumping of Kurt's shoulders that he had been knocked unconscious, or worse, killed.  
"Get 'em out of here," one said. Amanda recognized a Russian accent.  
"And her?"  
The leader pulled off his ski mask and gave her a toothy grin. "I'll get her."  
  
By the time Chester had figured out that he was hearing screams and got himself out of bed, put shoes and a shirt on, it had been too late. He found Amanda's trailer door wide open. His eyes widened after he flipped on the lights with the entry switch. "Nein."  
Margali had slept through the screams in the night. Chester didn't even try to be considerate of the other trailers nearby. He pounded on Margali's door and called out her name.  
"You do realize its 3 a.m. don't you?" She said very sleepily.  
"They're gone," he said, his adrenaline rushing.  
"Who?"  
"Amanda and Kurt. Someone took them."  
They had run back to Amanda's trailer to find the door still open and the lights still on from when Chester was there only minutes before.  
"Oh Heavenly Father." Margali said wide-eyed and astounded. A picture frame lay shattered on the floor, blood droplets were visible on the extremely messy bed sheets, and Kurt's sparkling red jacket lay thrown on a stool nearby. Neither her daughter nor foster son was anywhere to be seen.  
"I'll go call the police," Chester said as he left the trailer and a shocked Margali.  
Now alone, Margali picked up the red jacket and held it close. She could smell Amanda's perfume on it. She knew the police would be of little help; they would file a report of missing persons and leave it as that. "Dear God.please take protect my babies.."  
  
Translations: (Note, the translator I used was not entirely accurate with all of these-it kept changing its mind).  
"Fluch Sie es zur Hölle"-Curse it to hell 


	5. Chapter 4

4.  
Kurt's mind started working again, but the rest of him felt weak and drowsy. He could feel a tight and cold collar around his neck that dangled a chain in front of him-like a dog collar. Although he sat on the floor, in a rather uncomfortable position, his arms were hanging in the air, being held by what he figured to be shackles.  
His tongue licked his lips and a singe of pain shot through his mouth and he tasted blood. His lip was bleeding. His rib cage felt extremely bruised as he shifted his weight. Then his ears picked up the sound of someone moving nearby.  
"Kurt?"  
It was Amanda's voice. His eyes opened and his head looked up slowly. She sat on a small cot in the corner of the same room. She was curled up, her knees at her chest and her arms hugging her legs. "Amanda," he said. His throat felt very dry.  
"Oh God, Kurt." She got to her feet and went over to him. "How are you feeling?"  
"Like I was hit by a massive truck." He tried to smile, but it hurt his lip. "Where are we?  
"I don't know," she said as she looked at the steel door. "They had my hands tied and my head in a bag on the way here."  
They heard talking on the opposite side of the door. Then the door's handle turned slowly as the voices continued talking; the door opened and three men walked in. The two on the sides were dressed in the black body suits Kurt remembered seeing on their kidnappers. Each held a rifle in their hands and looked down at him like he was some poor, helpless animal. The middleman, however, was dressed in slacks, a shirt and a tie, a white lab coat finishing the look. He was in his late forties, but he looked about sixty. His hair was messy and the color of salt and pepper, a thin mustache and goatee surrounding his thin lips.  
"Giving your friend a word of hope, girl?" He spoke with a slight Russian accent. Brown eyes looked over the rim of oval glasses to the frightened girl who was still dressed in her nightclothes.  
"Who are you?" Kurt demanded as Amanda stepped aside and stood next to Kurt as if he was in a state to protect her.  
"We've never met, but I know who you are, Mr. Wagner; German acrobat that came to the United States almost a year ago for a circus tour. But you never went home, did you? Instead you stayed here and tried to assassinate the president. When you were unsuccessful you disappeared." He smiled, seeming to be proud of himself.  
"As for me," he continued seeing Kurt and Amanda's look of disgust, "I am Dr. Stefan Shorski. I am the brilliant man that designed the collar you wear around your little blue neck. You might remember my work when you were under the care of William Stryker."  
His words let Kurt understand that this collar was the same one used when Stryker was holding him captive before he went after the U.S. President. Kurt had to admit it was brilliant to say the least because it kept him from teleporting, which meant there was no mean of using his mutant power to escape.  
"What do you want with us?" Amanda asked. Her hands held onto one of Kurt's extended arms as she crouched down next to him.  
"I can care less about you, Miss Circus-Girl. You're only here because I didn't want you going around shouting her mouth about Wagner's capture." Shorski put his hands behind his back and walked up to Kurt's bound body. "You, on the other hand, are going to make me a fortune."  
Kurt tried not to laugh. "I won't work for you."  
"You'll have no choice." He motioned with one hand for his two riflemen to come forward. They pushed Amanda aside, which made Kurt try to jump at them and receive a kick to his side. Holding their rifles under their arms, both men unhooked the chains that bound his arms, leaving only the metal band around his wrists.  
"Leave him alone!" Amanda shouted as she got to her feet. Seeing Kurt struggle was more than she could bear.  
"Don't worry," Shorski said with a smile. "He'll be back in an hour or so."  
As if Kurt was no more than an animal, one of the men held the chain attached to the collar, only leaving about a foot of slack between his hand and Kurt's neck. The man kept his arm hanging at his side, so Kurt was forced to crawl after him.  
"Just sit tight," Shorski told Amanda as the four disappeared around the corner and the door slammed shut behind them. Amanda returned to hugging her knees and burying her head in them. "God help us.." she said as tears trickled down her face.  
  
Rain had started to come down in bucketfuls early that day. It was Sunday, and of course none of the classes were held at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Everyone was sitting around, most of the kids moping that they couldn't go outside. Storm, Rogue, Bobby, and Scott sat around a game table playing Monopoly, while Logan trained in a weight room in the basement, and Professor Xavier read a book in his office.  
Scott leaned over the table and picked up an orange card from the pile. "Aw, c'mon!" He said throwing the card down.  
"Back to jail?" Storm laughed as she picked up the dice.  
Scott sulked as he dropped his game piece in the shape of an iron onto the jail square. "I hate this game. Whose idea was this anyway?"  
"Probably yours," Logan said coming from the way of the kitchen with a soda in his hand. His face looked hot and sweaty, but he didn't seem the least bit tired.  
"Actually it wasn't," Scott said.  
Logan was about to counter back when the doorbell rang. Everyone looked at the other as Logan went over to the door and opened it. "Margali?" He said as Margali stepped inside, completely soaked.  
"Here, let me get you a blanket," Storm said running down the hall and soon returning with a heavy green blanket to drape around the soaked woman's shoulders.  
"Thanks," she said as she pulled it snug around her.  
"What's wrong?" Scott asked.  
By then Professor Xavier had emerged from his office and wheeled down the oak floor to the entryway. "When did it happen?"  
Margali stared at him and then remembered that he was able to read minds. "Around three o'clock this morning. Dr. Xavier, I don't know what to do."  
Logan held a hand up. "Someone mind explaining? Not all of us are mind readers at work."  
Margali turned to him, a few droplets of water streaking down her face. "Kurt and Amanda are gone. Someone took them last night."  
"Gone?" Rogue asked in complete shock.  
"Chester heard Amanda scream.and there was blood on her sheets. Oh God, I'm so worried," the circus woman said starting to cry.  
"Don't worry, we'll find them," Storm said leading Margali upstairs to find her dry clothes.  
The others were silent for a moment. All were thinking about the fact that Kurt had been kidnapped and wondered what sort of danger threatened him. Xavier, though, concentrated on the matter at hand: finding them.  
"I'm going to use Cerebro," he said as he wheeled towards the elevator. "Be ready to leave once I've found them."  
  
Kurt was practically dragged into a large white room. There, Shorski stood in front of him, his eyes looking over his glasses again. "Welcome to my lab, Mr. Wagner." Kurt didn't say anything. He just sat on his knees where he fell only seconds before.  
"We're going to relieve you of the power of that collar," Shorski said holding up a small remote controller. "But I wouldn't try to teleport out of here. These walls are five-feet thick and made of solid steel, a design I came up with myself to keep you here during the tests."  
"What tests?" Kurt asked. A lab assistant came over to him and started attaching little plastic half balls, smaller than ping-pong balls, on his major muscles.  
The chain on the collar was removed and the two riflemen left to stand guard by the door. Shorski waved for another man dressed in combat boots, camouflage pants, and a gray t-shirt to come out of a darker corner of the room.  
"José here will be your test partner. I want to see exactly what you can do and make a computerized record of it."  
José cracked his neck and stood only a few yards from Kurt. The military-like man was very intimidating. His arms, neck, and chest were thick with nothing else but muscle. His hair was cut short, and his face looked mean. Kurt had already begun to ask the Lord for forgiveness for his life's sins, figuring he was about to meet his final fate in this room.  
Shorski went off to a small, shielded room off to the side. The glass was the type one would see in a prison. Only one side could see through to the other. In this case, Shorski would be able to watch all of Kurt's teleporting and agility special effects he carried in that demon body of his.  
"You will fight and attack each other on my call." There was a moment of silence as Shorski waited for Kurt to get to his feet. Instead, the Nightcrawler remained on his knees in the center of the room, his head bowed, and his hands on his lap. "Mr. Wagner, I suggest you get up."  
Kurt's head glanced up towards the room. "I won't fight."  
Shorski only smiled to his lab assistant who sat in the room with him. "Have it your way."  
José didn't wait another second for any cue from Shorski. He lunged forward and kicked Kurt in the shoulder, causing the blue, tailed mutant to be thrown to his back several feet across the room. Yet he still didn't get up.  
José walked up with a vicious and hungry face. He bent down to pick Kurt up by the collar of his shirt. As if tossing a large inflated ball, José tossed Kurt a few inches into the air and punched the side of his face. Kurt felt as if a ton of steel had cracked his jaw, but when he finally hit the floor and moved his mouth, he was relieved to find it was still in tack.  
"Mr. Wagner, you will die before I stop him from this assault," Shorski said through the microphone.  
"Then so be it," Kurt said getting to his feet. His legs wobbled slightly, but he was able to stand nonetheless. José came running towards him, his hand over his shoulder preparing for what Kurt anticipated would be a very hurtful slap.  
Shorski watched from his seat and shook his head. "Get the girl," he told one of the guards. Then he leaned over the table and put his mouth to the microphone. "Mr. Wagner," he said just as Kurt was knocked to the ground. "I think it a wise decision on your part if you start cooperating with me."  
Kurt was on all fours, his head bowed to look at the ground. He noticed the beads of blood falling from his nose and mouth. His tail felt like it was sprained, which sent a terrible throbbing pain up his back.  
"Let me go!"  
The doors had closed and Amanda was shoved out into the room. "Kurt!" She yelled as she got started for him.  
"José," Shorski said in a very bored tone, "you have a new target."  
Kurt looked up quickly to see the huge brute running to the woman he loved. "Nein! Aufenthalt weg von ihr!" In a flash Kurt had disappeared, leaving behind a dark smoke that began to vaporize.  
Nightcrawler reappeared in front of the very frightened Amanda and jumped forward into the air to give José a back kick in the side of his head. The large man went flying back, but did a back flip and landed on his feet. He cracked his neck again and started forward in a quick walk.  
"Kurt, please.. You're already hurt," Amanda pleaded.  
"He'll kill you," Kurt replied as he teleported again this time appearing behind José and kicking him down. Kurt teleported in a heartbeat again, appearing in a crabwalk-type stance, his foot coming in contact with José's nose.  
José jumped up as his hands folded around his face. It was clear that Kurt had broken this bully's nose.  
Kurt had thought he was finished, but when he turned around he saw the two riflemen holding Amanda's arms and throwing her into the air. Once again Kurt teleported to catch Amanda in midair, then teleported down to the ground safely.  
He held her possessively, his eyes glaring at his opponents, daring them to try another attack. He didn't have to worry about it, though. Shorski came out of his room clapping his hands. "Beautiful," he said with a large smile.  
Kurt still held Amanda, her arms wound tightly around his neck. They looked at the Russian man who still walked towards them. He held up the remote just as Kurt tried to teleport out of the room. Nightcrawler had done it before-teleporting when he had no idea where he was going, but he waited a second too late. The collar had been turned back on, causing an electric shock to bite back at him, causing his arms to drop Amanda.  
"Nice try," Shorski said with a small laugh. He turned to his guards. "Take them both back to the cell."  
Kurt didn't try to struggle. Amanda saw this and it broke her heart. Not only that, but she started to lose all hope of rescue.  
  
Back in the X Mansion, the X-Men and Margali sat in the living room waiting for Xavier to return. It had been at least two hours. Margali sat on the edge of her cushioned chair, holding her hands in prayer with her head looking towards the carpeted floor.  
Everyone jumped as they heard the elevator nearby cling with the arrival of the professor on the main floor.  
Xavier wheeled himself into the room and looked worried. "It took me much longer than I thought. Whoever has Kurt and Amanda was making Kurt demonstrate his teleportation powers and I couldn't concentrate with him jumping back and forth between dimensions."  
"Did you find them?" Margali said getting to her feet, looking hopeful.  
"Yes, after a good hour or more of waiting. As far as I know Amanda is fine, just scared. Kurt though." He paused and looked at Scott. "You must hurry. There's not much time."  
The X-Men started heading towards the elevator that would take them downstairs to the hanger where the X Jet waited for them. They belted themselves into the seats of the jet, and Scott started up the engines as Storm opened the hanger door. "Xavier put the coordinates into the jet right after he left Cerebro. We should get there in fifteen minutes."  
"Let's just hope the elf and the girl are still alive in fifteen minutes," Logan replied.  
  
Kurt and Amanda were practically tossed back into the holding cell. Amanda helped Kurt to lie on the bed and then held his head in her arms. "I love you." was all she could find herself saying.  
Kurt sat up and looked at her. His nose and lips still bled, but his eyes still hadn't lost their hopeful shimmer. "They'll come.the X-men will help us. You'll be safe."  
"I want you safe too," Amanda said softly.  
Kurt put a bruised hand to her face and cradled it gently. "The Father will be with me, and He will be with you, holding your hand and guiding you."  
The door to the cell opened moments later, the guards following Shorski into the room. "Are you ready, Mr. Wagner?"  
Kurt didn't look at him. He had no idea what this evil man had planned for him, but he was not going to surrender himself.  
"What are you going to do with him?" Amanda asked as she held onto him tightly.  
Shorski smiled as he held up a syringe and let a few squirts emit from the tip. "We're going to put a small microchip into his neck to replace that collar he's wearing. It'll look better that way," he added with a wink that only made Kurt give a silent growl. "During that time we will have a device on the demon's head that will wipe away any memory of Kurt Wagner's life."  
Shorski sneered. "All the memory. Even about your pretty little girlfriend."  
Kurt didn't give him the pleasure of seeing his scared, upset, and worried face. He figured that as long as Amanda survived and escaped in one piece, he'd be happy. But forgetting the memory of her was what concerned him the most.  
"You can't!" Amanda yelled as Shorski dug the needle into Kurt's upper arm. "Kurt!"  
The antibiotic worked very quickly; soon Kurt had slumped down, although he was still able to see what was going on around him. He just couldn't feel anything, and he couldn't hear a sound that was made. His eyes saw Amanda screaming as one of the guards held her while the other one dragged him out of the room. As the door shut him from Amanda's sight, he closed his eyes, trying hard to keep the memory of her alive in his heart.  
  
Shorski had Kurt flopped onto the table without any restraints to hold him. The drug he had given young Wagner would keep him out for at least twelve hours. The surgery would be long over by then. Even so, when Wagner did wake up he would be unaware of everything and everyone around him.  
Shorski's assistant had done some quick work to program the movements of Wagner's teleportation and acrobatics into the memory machine that would clear his mind of everything he ever knew. This would allow him to still remember how to do the stunts he had been able to do his whole life without having to relearn them.  
An IV was placed in the mutant's blue arm, which was mainly to give him another dosage of the drug-just in case. Shorski wasn't too worried about much else. The chip just had to be placed under the skin and out of sight.  
The assistant put the memory device on the mutant's head. It looked as if a metal spider was clinging to Kurt's head. With the press of two buttons, the small computer would be put to life.  
"We'll wait until I've got this done. He might squirm a bit during that process," Shorski told the assistant and she backed away. "Now.this won't take too long." He reached for his scalpel and held it only inches from Kurt's exposed neck.  
Before the blade had a chance to cut into the soft blue skin, the emergency light overhead started to flash and a siren went off.  
"See what that is," Shorski said as he was about to return to his work. But the quick rumble of something being blown apart not to far from where he stood, ready to cut Kurt's neck, made him look up and wait to see what happened.  
"Sir," the assistant said, "someone's blown the main entrance apart."  
"Damn it to hell!" Shorski yelled as he ran to lock the doors. "This will not be ruined on me! I shall not fail like Stryker did." He turned around to continue once again when the sound of a gasp and a tumble made him jump. As he turned around quickly, realizing someone was there, the scalpel traced across Kurt's shoulder, cutting the flesh and blood leaking out immediately.  
"I suggest you step away from the elf," a low voice said.  
Wolverine stepped away from the now unconscious assistant. His claws shined in the bright lights of the lamps that hung over the table Kurt lay on, unaware that the rescue had finally come.  
"How'd you get in here? The doors were locked!"  
"Were," Wolverine smiled as he held up one claw. "Found out these things are good for picking locks besides cutting insufficient scientists' heads off."  
"You're making a big mistake," Shorski said as he put a syringe into Kurt's arm. "If I push down, a second dosage of this drug will kill him. Besides," he smiled, "you're too late. The memory eraser has started its work. Wagner belongs to me."  
Wolverine laughed. "S'far as I see it no one owns Wagner. Get away. I'm not afraid to kill you."  
"Then kill me! See where it gets you!" His thumb began to push down on the needle and the liquid started to empty into Kurt's arm.  
Wolverine was about to make his move when the door suddenly burst open and a red energy beam shot across the room. Wolverine leaned back as the beam almost hit him. Shorski, on the other hand, had jumped away before receiving the full brunt of it. He tumbled backwards, the syringe forgotten in Kurt's arm.  
"What the hell was that?" Wolverine inquired as he shot a harsh look at Cyclops.  
"Its called taking action," Cyclops responded hurrying over to Kurt. He pulled the contraption on his head off, tossed it in the air, and let his red energy beam blow it to pieces.  
"Then thanks for the help," Wolverine said as he pulled the needled out of Wagner's arm and let it shatter on the floor. "But don't do it again."  
Cyclops gave a quick smile before turning his head as he received a message through the earpiece he wore that was connected to the other X-Men. "You guys alright?"  
"We're fine," Storm said on the other end. "Amanda's not hurt, just shaken a bit from everything. You got Kurt?"  
"He's a little out of it at the moment," Cyclops reported. "But we'll be there to join you in a minute."  
"Cyclops, damn it!" Wolverine yelled. "That son of a bitch got away!"  
Cyclops looked to where Shorski had been. "He must have made a run for it when we turned our backs."  
"I'm going after him."  
"Forget it, Logan. We have Kurt and Amanda to worry about right now. They need to go home."  
Wolverine mumbled to himself for listening to this kid's orders once again, but he picked up Kurt just the same and followed the X-Men field leader to where they parked the jet.  
  
Translations: (Note, the translator I used was not entirely accurate with these-it kept changing its mind!)  
"Aufenthalt weg von ihr"-Stay away from her 


	6. Chapter 5

5.  
Amanda waited with her mother and the X-Men while Professor Xavier looked over Kurt in the laboratory below the school. During this Amanda was offered use of the shower and a change of clothes, but she refused to move until she knew Kurt was all right. The sound of the door sliding to the side made her jump and her mind started racing with thoughts.  
Xavier wheeled out, a smile on his face. "He'll be just fine. The extra dosage of the drug will keep him unconscious for a few days, I suppose, but his memory was unscathed. He should be back to normal by the end of the week."  
"What about the beating he got?" Logan asked. He had his arms folded and his body leaning against a wall in a very relaxed manner, but he was just as worried as the others, only he wouldn't admit it.  
"A few bruised ribs, but nothing serious. The rest are minor cuts that will heal smoothly."  
Margali and Amanda hugged each other and Amanda asked if she could go see him. Xavier nodded and let her pass.  
"Hey you," Amanda said once the door shut behind her. Kurt lay on a table in the middle of the research lab, looking very peaceful as he slept. He had a blanket on the lower half of his body; his chest displayed not only the angelic symbols he had engraved there, but also a few wires that stuck to him and were connected to a heart monitor. Amanda was glad to see that his cuts and bruises weren't as bad as she had thought. His abdomen was bandaged, probably for his ribs, and his arm was wrapped up for the cut Shorski gave him when Logan scared the man out of his pants.  
Amanda's hand brushed over Kurt's forehead, her fingers feeling the raised tattoos and the curls of his black hair. "My poor Nightcrawler," she whispered mainly to herself. "The things you've had to go through in your life."  
  
It was a few days after Kurt and Amanda had been kidnapped and then rescued. By now the steady rains had stopped and the sun shined brightly on Westchester, New York.  
Amanda sat on a stool near Kurt, reading her favorite book that he had given her. She was about to finish it for what seemed the hundredth time, but she didn't mind starting over. She did like that book.  
"Guten morgen," a voice said.  
Amanda looked up and smiled. Kurt's yellow eyes stared back at her. She put the book down on a nearby table and went over to him. "Afternoon, is more like it," she said softly. "How do you feel?"  
Kurt sat up a little bit, although Amanda put a hand on his chest to keep him from getting up completely. "Now it just feels like a bike hit me instead of a truck." He smiled. It seemed he was feeling just fine.  
"You scared me for a minute there," Amanda said. "It's been a few days since they got us out of that place."  
Kurt's eyes widened. "Has it? I didn't know." He looked thoughtful. "Is Margali and the others still around? Or have they gone back to Germany without you?"  
Amanda shook her head gently. "They're here. Chester said he's gonna give you a hug and then kick your butt for getting into trouble again." They both laughed lightly.  
The door to the lab opened and Storm walked in with a large smile on her face. "I thought I heard voices. How are you Kurt?"  
"Good," he replied. "You wouldn't mind if I had something to eat? I feel rather hungry at the moment."  
  
By the next day Kurt was back to his old self. Well, almost. He was still unable to jump around in the air and do highflying somersaults, but his personality was still the same. Most of the circus members went home as scheduled, but Margali, Amanda and a few others stuck around the Xavier School for a couple extra days.  
During that time Kurt and Amanda were rarely seen apart. Some of the younger students didn't quite understand, but they thought it was gross that a guy and a girl would be seen together-especially holding hands! For the rest of the school, they couldn't have been happier that Kurt's dream of being with Amanda had finally come true.  
Kurt couldn't complain about life at the moment. He was amoungst the greatest of friends he had ever had, the woman who raised him, and the girl he's longed for his entire life. It wasn't until the day Margali and the others would be hopping on a plane to return to Germany that Kurt's ideal life would be ending. A good part of him didn't want to leave his friends.  
He woke to a brightly sunlit room, Amanda sleeping next to him like she had the night before. As he sat up and stretched his back and tail, he wondered if Margali knew she was with him instead of the bed set up in Rogue's room.  
Amanda was still fast asleep. He knew that she would need it. The trip home would be long and tiresome, just like it had been when they came to the U.S. almost a year ago.  
Getting up and putting a pair of brown slacks, a long-sleeved but thin shirt, and a jean jacket on, Kurt made his way down to the first floor. It was still early, being just before 8:00. Usually he would've been up hours ago, but he and Amanda spent a good amount of the night watching a few movies in his room, which was the basic reason she ended up sharing his bed.  
A few of the students were already up and sitting around the island in the kitchen eating their bowls of cereal. Kurt was about to go in and join him when he thought he heard Professor Xavier calling him.  
Kurt turned around and saw no one. Then he heard the voice again and realized Xavier must be using his telekinesis to talk to him.  
Xavier's office wasn't too far from the kitchen. The large doors were opened and Kurt saw the middle-aged man sitting at his desk.  
Xavier looked up with a welcoming smile. "Good morning, Kurt. Please, come in."  
Kurt went in quietly and gave a meek smile as he took the offered seat in front of the desk. The doors closed gently behind him and he couldn't help but wonder why the professor wanted to talk to him so early. Perhaps it was because Xavier wanted to thank Kurt for being a part of the school for the past six months.  
"Sleep well?" Xavier said as he reached across the desk to put his pen back in the cup full of other pens and pencils.  
"Ja," Kurt replied.  
Xavier sat back and folded his hands in his lap. "Kurt, I'll get straight to the point." Kurt nodded. "I understand that your love for Amanda is stronger than anything else you live for, including your faith. But." he paused for a few moments as if trying to think of the right words. "But I am going to ask you to reconsider returning to Germany."  
Kurt's eyes slightly widened and his tail twitched behind him. "Why?" He asked rather shocked.  
Charles Xavier sighed. He knew Kurt wanted to go home in the worst way. Its were the young man grew up, where he would be familiar with everything, where he would probably spend the rest of his life performing in the circus and living with Amanda.  
"There are a few reasons. I'm sure you've already figured out that you're loved here by everyone," the professor explained. "And you've been a great help to the X-Men and I'd hate to see you leave. But the true reason why I feel you should stay here is not for our sake, but for your loved ones' sake."  
"I.I don't understand," Kurt told him.  
"In less than a year you've been pursued by two men who wanted you for your mutant abilities for reasons that would harm others and most likely you as well. And I don't doubt that it'll happen again.  
"My greatest fear, besides seeing you being hurt, is another attack on your friends, including Amanda and Margali."  
Kurt thought for a moment. He knew what Xavier meant, but he continued to listen to what he had to say.  
"Stryker has been dealt with, but unfortunately Shorski is still out in the world. There's no telling what he could do if he still wants you under his control. And it might come down to people getting hurt or even killed."  
"You're right." Kurt said after there was a moment's silence. He looked down to his two-toed feet and wondered how he could explain it to Amanda.  
Xavier had most likely read his mind on this very thought. "I've already spoken to Margali about this. She loves you very much Kurt and she loves Amanda. She agrees that its best you stay here with us until this whole mutant war is over."  
Kurt's head looked up. "What about Amanda? What will she say? I promised her I'd go back."  
Xavier pulled away from his desk and went to Kurt's side; he put a hand on the German's shoulder and gave a comforting look. "If she loves you, she'll understand."  
Kurt knew he was right, but he was afraid of telling her. He was afraid that he would find out that Amanda didn't love him like he thought. What scared him even more, which he felt was a sin because he should have full trust in her, was the fact that she would forget him and move on.  
He spent the whole morning thinking of ways to tell her that he was going to stay in the States. But every time his mind would play tricks on him by giving him a new version on how she'd react.  
Finally the time came. Before lunch, when the vans to the airport were due at any time, Amanda wondered to the backyard by the unoccupied basketball court to find Kurt sitting on a picnic table, his feet on the bench.  
"Have you been here all morning?" She asked as she sat next to him closely.  
"Ja," he replied. His hands fumbled with the rosary beads and the pewter cross that hung from his belt. "Amanda, I have to tell you something."  
Amanda cocked her head slightly and looked at him. Kurt was immediately lost in the green pools of her eyes and the devil played her possible reactions over in his head. "What is it?"  
Kurt hesitated. Which way should he tell her? Come out and be blunt? Or lead it into something long and hopefully understanding?  
Finally, his mouth opened, but nothing came out. After coaxing himself to just get it over with, he found his voice to say, "Ich liebe dich. I love you more than anything."  
Amanda smiled. "I know." She gave a light laugh. "I thought you had something to say that you were afraid to tell me."  
"I can't go back to Germany with you.." Kurt's mouth hung open to let the air flow in and out freely. He didn't want to blurt it out like that. He felt like an idiot.  
Amanda stared at him, her smile fading a little. "That's funny, Kurt. Real funny."  
"Its not a joke," Kurt replied, now having already inserted one foot in his mouth. You're such a fool, he thought to himself.  
Amanda's smile faded completely. "What do you mean.? Kurt, we had this all planned out. You said you wanted to go home."  
Kurt turned so he could pick up her hands in his. He tried to look happy and convincing, as if trying to tell her he wasn't lying to her. "I do want to go home. But I have to stay here for now. Its better this way." You idiot, you're only making it worse. God help me.  
Amanda's eyes started to fill with tears. "You.I thought.Mutant or not.you're just like all the rest. You promised me Kurt Wagner. You promised! How could you take these people you've just met over me?"  
Kurt's heart shattered. He felt like someone had taken a sludge hammer and hit his head with it. His hands felt cold as she yanked her own away from him and jumped off the table. "Amanda! I have to! Its best for us this way.please, let me explain."  
Amanda had already decided she wasn't going to let him explain. To her, if he wasn't willing to go home with her then she wasn't worth anything to him like she thought. Kurt Wagner was just like the rest-he said he loved her, but in truth she was just another girl.  
Kurt's head dropped to his knees. He had screwed it up. He should have told her why he decided this before he said anything else. Now she hated him. His hands clutched the beads tightly, the cross dangling from his fingers.  
"Our Father, who art in heaven; hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." A tear rolled from his eye down his cheek and to the grass below.  
  
Kurt had moved his spot outside from the picnic table to the gardens. There, he spent a good hour or more praying, asking God for forgiveness and to protect Amanda and Margali, and also not to be mad at Amanda, for he was the cause.  
"Kurt."  
His prayers came to a quick end as he glanced up at the owner of the voice; the familiar voice his pointy ears couldn't get enough of.  
"Verzeihen Sie mir," Amanda said as she sat next to him on the ground. "I jumped ahead of myself. I was being really selfish. You're the one who has his head on straight. You always know what's best for everyone."  
"I should've-" he started, but was silenced by her index finger.  
"I love you. But you better come visit or I'll go crazy." She smiled.  
"You know why then," he said softly.  
"Xavier and my mom told me. I just didn't want to be away from you again like before. But now that I think of it, it's not going to be as bad 'cause I know you're okay." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders for a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you so much."  
Kurt felt like they never let go of that hug. When his senses finally came back to him he realized he and Amanda were standing outside the front doors of the mansion, the airport vans waiting for her to get in the back seat.  
Her arms were just as tight around him as they had been in the garden; her face was buried in his neck as she tried so hard to keep his scent in her head.  
"Amanda, c'mon," Margali called from the open van door.  
Amanda waved to her mother to be quiet. Then she looked at the yellow eyes of Kurt Wagner. "Don't let it be another six months, you hear?"  
"I'll try," he said softly. He kissed her forehead. He wasn't much into giving a public display of his true affections for her with the entire student population of the mansion standing behind him. "Sichere reise," he told her.  
Amanda pulled away and found her seat in the van. The door shut next to her and she buckled herself into the seat. She heard the van's engine roar as the driver turned it on and it wasn't until then that she realized she wasn't going to see the Incredible Nightcrawler for a long time.  
At least this time, as they drove down the driveway, she was able to stare out the window and still see his image waving to her, unlike last time when they left him behind she had no idea if he was even alive. She couldn't wait until she'd see him again.  
  
Inspirations:  
  
"Here Without You"-3 Doors Down  
  
A hundred days have made me older, Since the last time that I saw your pretty face A thousand lies have made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same All the miles that separate Disappear when I'm dreamin' of your face  
  
I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight, there's only you and me.  
  
The miles just keep rollin' As the people leave their way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated But I hope that this gets better as we go I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, there's only you and me  
  
Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it want take away my love And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done It gets hard but it want take away my love  
  
I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, there's only you and me. --------------------------------------------------  
  
"Heaven"-DJ Sammy  
  
Baby you're all that I want When you're lying here in my arms I'm finding it hard to believe We're in heaven  
  
We're in heaven  
  
Oh, thinkin' about our younger years There was only you and me We were young and wild and free Now nothing can take you away from me We've been down that road before That's over now You keep me comin' back for more  
  
Baby you're all that I want When you're lying here in my arms I'm finding it hard to believe We're in heaven And lovin' is all that I need And I'm finally there in your heart It isn't too hard to see, We're in heaven  
  
We're in heaven  
  
Now nothing can change what you mean to me There's a lot that I could say But just hold me now Cause our love will light the way  
  
Baby you're all that I want When you're lying here in my arms I'm finding it hard to believe We're in heaven And lovin' is all that I need And I'm finally there in your heart It isn't too hard to see, We're in heaven  
  
Now our dreams are comin' true Through the good times and the bad I'll be standing there by you  
  
We're in heaven  
  
And your loving is all that I need When I'm finally there in your heart It isn't too hard to see We're in heaven Oh oh oh oh oh oh  
  
We're in Heaven.  
  
Translations: (Note, the translator I used was not entirely accurate-it kept changing its mind!)  
"Ich liebe dich"-I love you  
"Verzeihen Sie mir"-Forgive me  
"Sichere reise"-Safe journey (actually, its really 'secure travel' but safe journey is what I wanted) 


End file.
